Transparent Nipples and Tiny Clothespins
Last night I took a much needed break from long work days and had a dinner date with sparky. C. is out of town, so we had the house to ourselves; but have both been working so much that we didn’t plan anything *big*. He arrived and we had a glass of wine, caught up on small talk. As we were leaving and already out the door I remembered the cock collar and lead in my pocket and made him come back inside with me. I told him to drop his pants just inside the door. “Right here?” I just smirked and strapped it on, a bit tighter than last time; holding the chain clip as he zipped back up, and clipping it to his waistband. I couldn’t decide which side, and he suggested left since that’s where I’d be in the car.
At the restaurant the waiter placed our menus both facing away from the door and the other diners; I like to face one of those. I went to sit in the seat I *wanted*, telling sparky to sit to my left as I did, but he didn’t hear (or pretended not to), and sat to my right. As he sat I went to reach for the clip and he got cheeky … “It’s on the wrong side now. Too BAD!”. I could not contain my laughter for several minutes to tell him what a mistake that had been. He tried to joke his way out of it, and quickly moved the clip to the other side of his waistband, and I let him think it might work.
After dinner I suddenly felt VERY ill and knew I was going to vomit. I tried the bathroom but it kept filling with sorority girls just as I would find it empty and I just couldn’t allow myself to wretch in a public bathroom with an audience. I managed to make it home, telling sparky as we reached the driveway that I’d meet him inside. I felt much better afterwards. This has happened a few times lately, any time I drink or get very full. I thought I may have a stomach ulcer, but I don’t QUITE have those symtoms; however they do sound similar to some mentioned by members of an empath group I recently joined, and so I’m investigating that further. Anyway, I told sparky that I just felt like curling up in bed, and did. He joined me, and I really was in the mood to just lay there and watch TV. But he had been in that collar all night and was irrepresable, even knowing I’d just been ill.
So I took out my cheapo bondage tape …actually electrical tape from the korean dollar store, that as it turns out has no sticky on it, but sticks to itself. Same stuff – the very same – as what the kink stores charge ten times as much for, I picked up as much as I could when I found it for 50 cents a roll…..thanks Korea! I never did come up with a good explanation for my daughter who just looked confused as I walked down the aisle with an armload of electrical tape. I had sparky clasp his hands together and I bound his forearms from wrist to elbow with it. I asked if he’d need a gag, because I’d already told him I wanted to watch the Lewis Black show that was on twice, and he kept interrupting, and that I was immobilizing him so that I could watch while I attended to his punishment for the smart ass comment earlier. He said no.
I pulled back the covers and got my box of clothespins- the tiny one inch and quarter inch ones. I’d used the tiniest on him once before only momentarily because he squealed so loud, so when he saw it he let out a moan of dread; but his cock betrayed him and began to swell and throb. So that’s where most of them went.
But, sparky has very sensitive nipples and it’s been a fun thing between us that I can just twist one whenever I like and he just about oozes. So while he was adjusting to the third or fourth cock pin, I put one on his right nipple, and a few minutes later on his left. They stayed on for about 20 minutes. When I took the right one off, his nipple was almost completely transparent in the middle, and I was a little concerned. Actually very concerned. Very turned on and concerned. This morning I can’t seem to get it out of my mind and feel a bit droppy/guilty about it. Hrrrmmm.
He was taking it so well with the six one inchers that I took out a couple of tiny ones and tested where I could put them. One just about half an inch below the corona of his head was too much clearly, but when I went to take it off it twisted in my fingers and pinched harder. sparky yelped. I moved it to just above the one that had been on his ball sack for about 15 minutes already…that worked. I put two more on the ridge of his cock between some big ones, and tried to put one on each side of his ball sac but it had swelled up so big that I couldn’t get any skin under them. I admired that for a while, and then went to get my camera and snapped this photo before realizing that the flash was off. I turned it on, and my battery went dead. And sparky was starting to loose his happy place and moan in a bad way. So I put the camera away and took about 5 minutes removing the pins and another 5 to sit and caress, kiss, and blow on his marks. Those tiny ones make the coolest indentions. I’m going to have to build up his tolerance so I can do some real artwork with the after-effect, which of course, I didn’t get a picture of, along with the transparent nipple. I really wish I had. Guess that just means I’ll have to try again. Drats. This pic was soooo dark, but lightening it made it pretty blurry- and hard to see the tiny mean clips, which is what my real aim was. Anyway- enjoy.
Clearing Cobwebs
Ok, so I’m not so great at consistent posting here. What can I say? This is a personal, for fun site. I’m not concerned with page hits, or how popular I become in ‘the community’ with it. And I work online. Lately, about 16 hours a day, poring over thousands of lines of code. My work isn’t always so intensive, but when it is, it’s pretty hard to want to spend any more time at my laptop when my work day is over.
I guess I’m that way all around. Stress really takes the fun out of me. And, right now my life IS stress. For those of you who have followed me for the last year or so, you know that I am on my way uphill from a bad financial spot after hitting a very low point in a deep depression that lasted a few years. I’m say- a third of the way up; and things keep getting steeper…for all of us, I try to remember. Then there’s the kid. Getting ready for her senior year and college. And bleeding my schedule and wallet dry. I thought I was prepared for more expenses the last few years of high school, but sheesh. Try over a grand last month for various fees, extra curricular events, competitions, deposits of trips and summer courses, advanced testing, college prep, and senior rings and jackets….that’s before lunches and pocket money. Of course, home ownership has become costly. My fridge has gone out and part of my fence blew down, and HOA fees are due. And there is family too. Dad is doing fair, health wise. A brother is getting married in the summer. Everyone wants my time in free web work and visits in which they will do little but proffer advice on how to ‘fix’ my life. Lately I’ve felt as if even a 72 hour day wouldn’t offer enough daylight to get everything done; and have hit the ground running before 6 am and fallen into bed after midnight still clothed almost every day for 3 weeks. And yes, my body is telling me about it. I had two ocular migraines this month- fortunately painless (yes, migraines can be painless); but one left me unable to see (anything but a flashing ‘floater’ and the same effect you’d see if you stared at a bright light for several minutes), basically, for about 13 hours. I took the opportunity to sleep. And think.
I have lots to write about here. sparky and I have actually NOT talked about the blog because I’ve only seen him twice since that last post about it. One day was a slave shopping trip I had planned for Valentine’s day; I took him for his first trip to a lingerie store, and planned to go to a toy store afterwards but we ran out of time. I wrote about 3/4 of a post about it and got pulled away to something. When I find the file I wrote it in I will update, it was fun. I used my new purchase from BodyAware.
A little hurrah for Bodyaware here…GEEZUS those guys are fast. I ordered Wednesday with standard shipping (tee-hee- I first typo-ed ‘whipping’…wonder what is on MY mind?), and it was in my mailbox Saturday morning. WOW, and kudos to BodyAware, again. The chastity belt was exactly as stated on the site. Real leather with fabric facing fused to the inside. Came with it’s own luggage lock and set of keys. And under $30 bucks. And mmmmm….pretty. It is one size fits all, which means the waist strap is almost as long as I am tall; so I will have to find my leather needles and cut and edge it, maybe make a loop to hold the free end, but for now I’ve been using it as a handy on-slave-strap to smack with and a lead. On sparky about a bit over a foot is left dangling down his backside. Handy. But not pretty and it doesn’t tuck in well. However, if you are a … let’s say husky man … it WILL fit you. Easily.
Anyway, it was after that date that things got so crazy busy for me. And after that date that I realized I had to do some real soul searching. About what I want in a submissive and in a relationship. As hard as I have tried, I cannot feel a spark for sparky. And this makes my time with him feel more like time spent with a client (yes, that kind) than time spent with someone who is serving me. Like it’s not about me, at all. Not just because of the lack of spark, but that has much to do with it. Fortunately, I don’t think sparky is head over heels, and it will just fizzle out amicably.And yes, p. and I are still talking, sort of. This is a subject I’ll have to cover later.
Anyway, this soul searching led me to engage in some research and learning into empathy, both in general and in it’s relation to BDSM. As in being an empath, not being generally empathetic. I’ve always known about my empathic skills, which I’ll get into later; but like most with them, have struggled to recognize and live with them healthily. One particular effect on ME is to really have difficulty discerning my own wishes and desires from others in my life. It’s very easy to ’soak up’ what everyone else needs and make it my own. That’s been a good thing for parts of my life…becoming a single mother at fifteen for example, or having a handicapped sibling in a large family not always capable of giving her the best attention. It made me a great escort, and makes me a legendary lover. But it’s also been bad for me, in that I’ve rarely been able to consider my own wants and needs separately from my responsibilities and obligations to others. And I think that has much to do with my dominant tendencies, AND my reluctance to delve into them. As does being empathic. There’s plenty on that subject I expect to explore. I’m curious to know if other dominants who have empathic talents feel these abilities affect their desires and role.
Governor Spitzer’s dance around his dalliances, and the embarrassing press display of false prudishness over it, has me thinking on another article or two in my Sex Worker Stereotype series. I watched a pundit on CNN yesterday say something to the effect of “I’ve met him close to 20 times, and am shocked. He seemed like a very nice man who loved his wife and family and was a good person….”- of course these are not her words verbatim. But it seemed ridiculous to me. Why wouldn’t he be a nice man and a good person, or love his wife, even if he DID see an escort? Personally, I’d find it morally appalling if the lady (and the money spent and security detail used for seeing her) was a *lover*; someone to whom Mr. Sptitzer was obligating himself and giving of himself personally to. In THAT case I’d wonder about how seriously he took his obligation to his family, or his character as a person. But not that he may have seen a sex worker on his own private time. It seems to me that a man willing to carry on an ongoing affair outside of his marriage with an officially unpaid companion is much more morally corrupt than one who indulges himself with someone in whom he plans to invest no emotion or romance. And while I don’t know about the details of the investigation, it is days like this when I think about the number of colleagues I had who worked in circles like the one in question, that I am rather happy to have had my name out of the grapevine for a few years. I had an article planned about sex worker’s scruples which included quite a bit about keeping the trust of privacy between client and worker; and while I feel that’s an important point- thousands of workers zip it while only a few sing- maybe this isn’t the time to make that point.
Lastly, I have some literotica and some posts about the mental aspects of D/s to work on. I’ll try and bring one or two of them to fruition very soon so you have something fun to read.
There’s also some work to do here on the site- clearing out of cobwebs and freshening up my theme and such. So keep an eye out for changes….I’m still around.