Oh Insomnia.
Anyone awake? Chat? I’m bored as hell and the infomercials have started. 3:19 am.
Update at 3:34 — You know, I see you people reading in my logs. Fine. I’ll go clean the garage. And, oops, I changed the permalink structure and forgot about the .htaccess for a bit. Changed it back, my bad.
Could you let me know…
Could you all do me a favor over the next few days and let me know if you encounter any weirdness using the site?
My database has hiccupped a few times this week, lost two draft articles, and reverted to old unedited (as in prior to publishing) versions of two articles, and I just got a bunch of mail from this afternoon re-delivered. I’ve got some monitoring on it, but users are the best eyes.
Still, cleaning the garage seems better than looking at error logs at 3:45 am.
Edit at 4:02: Definitely something up. This post was made *after*the insomnia post.
Austin’s CraigsList subs … fail.
**edit for the CL admin I see in my stats**
Sorry. I published this with the email links deleted. I promise. I saw the post had them listed about an hour later, and removed them right away. Again, sorry. Database weirdness and I’m no server admin **
I’m a closet craigslister. Have been ever since I was reviewed on it as an escort, many many years ago when people did that. Lately, I visit the free section a lot. I’m collecting bricks for a patio I’ plan to build in the spring. And the furniture section. I’ve been looking for the right coffee table and some mid century dining chairs. But occasionally, I think to myself, “Hey. There might be a good ad from a submissive guy or two. I’ll check them out”. Below, you’ll find why I do that only occasionally, and then get back to my cut-out dolls, PDQ.
Seeking dominant BBW for ongoing relationship
Reply to: deleted@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-01-30, 9:11PM CSTI am an easy going single white male living in the Valley. I am in search of a woman that is Dominant and enjoy being in control and having a man serve and worship her.I am would be open to a woman of any age. I am open to most aspects of looks, but do have one requirement. I am only interested in meeting a BBW. This would include all women from being chubby to a supersized BBW.No offense meant to you skinny ladies. I know you are quite nice, but I just prefer a bit more to a woman.
This is not about dating or being your boyfriend. Rather this is about you believing you are a Superior woman. As such you believe my proper place is on my knees serving you.
When I visit I will be kept naked and on a collar and leash. Lead around as you would a pet. You would require lots of attention. From massages and body rubs, to long oral sessions. Most often this will be me licking your pussy, but at times you may have me orally worship your breasts or ass. Far from a simple kiss on the ass cheek you will have me spread your cheeks wide and fully lick and worship your ass.
There are no limits on what may be required of me to sexually please you. Any request or desire of yours will be explored. Yes, even if it is not of personal interest, if you make a sexual request I will do my best to properly prefrom it for you.
At times I may be simply required to sit by and wait for you. Perhaps being used as a foot rest or sat on like a chair. You may have me dress you or preform other types of personal service.
If I disobey or fail to preform to your standards you may take me over you knee for a spanking or slap my face. At times you may do this even when happy with me, but simply because you can and not because I did anything wrong. Regardless of why the main thing is that you are not afraid of getting rough with me.
I can be very discreet about this. Nobody ever needs know you have a personal sub at your service.
At the same time if you decide you want to show me off to your female friends you may. Even going as far as sharing me with them while they visit or loaning me out to them from time to time.
I am quite real. I am not seeking to serve multiple ladies, but to find one BBW to serve ongoing. Idealy meeting several times a week.
Oh good. A quite real sub who can be discreet when preforming his submissive duties, which he also has divined from thin air without even meeting his domina. That is a particularly special skill. Clearly he understands that a Superior Woman would not want to bother herself with deciding what to do with her male.
Here’s another good one I saved
Looking for a cute girl to abuse me in bed – m4w – 40
Reply to: deleted@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-01-06, 1:47PM CSTI want a cute young chick to abuse me in bed: pin me down, ride me, slap me, call me names, for starters. I need you to take it out on me like you need to take it out on someone. Skinny (not bony) or chubby (not obese), doesn’t matter. Just be cute and sexually angry; no older than 22; UT student perhaps.Please send a description of yourself and of what you’d like to do to me; pic would also be nice.
I don’t even think any more commentary is necessary. I would however, be willing to loan my mini-iron to a cute young ‘chick’.
Hooray Pervertables!
So I mentioned that I’d found a fabulous pervertable belt/lead recently, and I thought I’d show it and some of my other pervertables off. It was just what I was looking for. I’m a feminine girl, and I like pretty, shiny things. I’d once seen a rhinestone leash in a diamond ad with a beautiful woman walking her pet cougar, who easily looked like a well muscled slave crawling before her on a glamorous lead. Ever since I’d been on the lookout for one. Last weekend my mom and I were doing girlie shopping, and she was in a generous mood, prodding me to buy whatever I wanted. I’d had a hard time finding something I wanted that I felt comfortable asking her to pay for, and we’d been shopping all day. We popped into my default clothing store, New York and Company (short women….they have jeans that fit!) on the way out of the mall for one last look….and I found it. I did have a pic of myself wearing it up, but then had second thoughts about ook it down. It and t was a quick shot and is pretty blurry, plus I could have put on better lingerie. Who knows, I might take a better one to put up.
Isn’t it funny how some items just jump off that vanilla store shelf at you as clearly meant for your kink play? That’s what happened with my next pervertable find. My daughter and I were at Hobby Lobby shopping for supplies for a school project. I was also covertly shopping for the suede and handle for my whippy cane, but that’s beside the point, and covered in another post. As many of you may know, I love the color red. I look great in it and it makes me feel powerful. So when I see it in a store it always draws my eye. Walking down the beading aisles, we had each found several must haves that had nothing to do with our original reason for shopping there. My daughter eyed the stack of red bracelets and pointed them out, but I’d already seen them. And noted that they were very flexible, and looked like a plain mini collar. I picked one up and inspected it, and was delighted to see that a decorative D ring was already attatched along with a hasp, for putting a jewelry charm on, of course. Not at all for attaching a leash to.
The ‘pleather’ was very plasticy – easy to use a warm awl to put more holes into, and the edges not sharp. I have a very small wrist and figured if it fit, that would equal about the length I’d need to encircle a ball sac. It did, on the last hole, fit with a little give room. I knew immediately that the small four inch chain included with my old pager, with a mean clip on one end and a loop/hasp to attatch to the pager at the other would fit the D ring perfectly, and it would work well attached to the ankle of any shoes with an ankle strap. And it HAS. Now, I also have the belt leash to use with it…a red cock collar and rhinestone lead. Someone would have to be very good to be shown off so stylishly.
I have lots more pervertables to cover, but this one arrived in the mail today. It’s a mini-iron with removeable, exchangeable heads, for craft and sewing work; one of my purchases for my adventures in corsetry. I’d already been thinking about how my (and really, anyone’s) interest in different fetishes grows and expands as I do. How years ago I’d never have thought I’d enjoy keeping a man locked in a chastity device, or have orgasms from causing pain. Or how I found various styles of play distasteful before, but after a while, find myself more interested in them. The UPS boy rang my bell. I was taking that belt pic and threw on my robe and ran downstairs. He was pulling off but had left the box at the doorstep. I’d forgotten ordering it, so I was very curious to open the package, and remembered as soon as I saw the clover shaped stand, that it was my mini-iron. 
Nothing like a new toy to make Monday better. I took it from the package and plugged it in, and as I sat there and waited I looked at that tiny gleaming iron head and had evil thoughts. I’ve never been interested in burning/cutting/branding sort of play. But the thought of leaving a little iron shaped brand on p.’s ass for his vanilla girlfriend to find, or perhaps fashioning a brand in my initial to use with the iron, was overpowering as I watched it heat up. I got out my wrinkly test fabric- after all- this thing could be pretty lightweight. One press left a smooth one inch iron mark on the fabric and I wondered if it would make the skin smell if I did it just like that. It didn’t creep me out, which kind of creeped me out. I don’t know if I’ll pursue that further right now, but definitely something to think about; I also ordered all the attatchments, so when those arrive they may inspire me more. For those of you curious, it’s a Clover Mini Iron II. I won’t link it anywhere so I don’t scare the ladies at the craft store (Joanne Fabrics is where I ordered mine online). As you can see, Mr. Mannikin is a little worried about the whole thing.
WTF do I do with this?
So, I know a lot of you would rather not hear about p. But the thing is, that’s what’s going on in my head right now. And it’s my blog. So just don’t read it if you don’t want to hear about it.
Like I said, he contacted me Thursday. I sent a message Friday telling him that the only way we’d talk was if he showed up in person at my door, and included directions. He’s not a good liar in person and I knew he’d never do it anyway.
The last time we spoke, in October, he was off for vacation and supposed to visit me for several days to see if we could work through things. When I called him the night before he was to be here, he actually picked up and then hung up on me. Twice. I hope I woke his girlfriend up. Seething is not quite the right word for where that sent me, but it’s close. Of course I knew he wasn’t showing up the next day, and had not really prepared for him to, anyway. But hanging up on me…I spent a lot of time talking myself out of some very vengeful thoughts for a few weeks.
And then I moved on- sparky may be a bad kisser, sparkless, and pretty wimpy but he would never hang up on me, and is actually here, available for (light)beating. I don’t have time to waste on those who waste my time. I wasn’t surprised when I heard from him again; but I’d really hoped it wouldn’t make my heart flutter and my stomach do flips like it did. Which is why I sent the ultimatum. I know he’ll never follow through with that, it would take effort. And if he ever did, we’d be talking on my turf.
Anyway, I was online this afternoon chatting with some friends. I really thought I’d have the willpower to say nothing to him if he chatted with me, to just sign off if I needed to. I was wrong. Weak and wrong.
p (1/27/2008 3:53:31 PM): hello
Me (1/27/2008 3:54:31 PM): I don’t want to play games *****.
p (1/27/2008 3:55:00 PM): i know
Me (1/27/2008 3:56:37 PM): what did you contact me for?
p (1/27/2008 3:56:54 PM): i missed you
p(1/27/2008 3:57:34 PM): couldnt stay away any longer
Me (1/27/2008 3:59:37 PM): I don’t understand why you need to stay away, and I don’t think that’s ever going to change.
p (1/27/2008 4:00:09 PM): yes Maam
Me (1/27/2008 4:00:41 PM): ?? yes, that’s never going to change?
p (1/27/2008 4:01:04 PM): yes, you are right
Me (1/27/2008 4:01:29 PM): why is that?
p (1/27/2008 4:02:01 PM): its just the way it is
I just signed off at this point…what’s the point? When I logged back on, he’d continued briefly…
p (1/27/2008 4:02:33 PM): are you there?
p (1/27/2008 4:04:28 PM): you said it yourself, you own me
WTF am I supposed to do with that?
I know. Please spare me. I don’t need a lecture on how un-worthy of me and my time he is, how unhealthy it is for me to dwell on, how nothing is ever going to change, blah blah blah. I know. I just needed to get it off my chest to someone other than my cat Don Gato, who did dutifully pretend to listen as long as I rubbed his head. But he fell asleep and started to drool. Which is why I have a blog.