Of Bully Bags and Bitches
I’m on my final week of ‘vacation’ in the northeast. Wrapping up some serious dental work which took longer than expected, giving peter his last opportunity with me, and visiting with my M&M friend. I had planned for one week, it’s now been three. I’ve enjoyed myself. Particularly now that my smile is back to normal; I’d broken a tooth last year and been struggling to find funds to have it repaired. It had really begun to affect my self esteem, which is generally pretty well placed. Between the dentist and the literally hundreds of men who’ve practically chased me down the streets as I wander town here, it’s safely back in excellent territory for the first time in a long while.
I’ve had some good conversations with peter. Rather, revealing, not necessarily good in the traditional sense. Seems he thinks the word ‘bitch’ is synonymous with ‘jackass’. So when he says he can’t help being a bitch- something he says often, he means he can’t help being an ass. Wrong. I hope I get the opportunity to teach him just how wrong…and yes, if I do, you’ll hear all about it. Years ago when we first met, I voiced thoughts that his assenine behavior might be his way of trying to garner dominant attention to a well respected publicly blogging submissive at that time. Who promptly tok the opportunity to try to be demeaning when he told me I was mistaken and that many dominants make this mistake. Because I”m not submissive or masochistic in any way, and still sometimes find the behavior of those who are confounding, I had to take his word for it and look for other answers. Which I have been doing for a very long time, looking for some deeper, more complex answers to why he acts like such an ass with me but then can’t seem to stay away from what I have to offer, either. As it turns out, I was right after all. Mistaken indeed.
Meanwhile my M&M has been his wonderful self, and having such an extended time to spend together has led to a deeper friendship and many more personal sharings and revelations that we’ve shared in the past. He’s revealed some dominant fantasies, and we’ve talked more about the attraction that dominance holds for me. And I’ve made really clear that none of those fantasies will be lived out with me on the receiving end, thankfully he’s been receptive and understanding. But I felt badly, since I know I am the only opportunity for sexual contact he has, or has had, in a long time. Until, that is, he appeared at the apartment (where he stays for work and where I am staying to reduce travel costs) with an impish grin saying he had the perfect gift for me. He pulled from his backpack an interesting looking container and handed it to me, saying he thought it was the one thing a Domme just should never be without…
Bull scrotum bag
So, if you’re unsure… YES, it’s a ‘bag’ made from a ’sac’. A bull’s scrotum, tanned into a hardened leather, hair intact, and strung up to make a lovely container, to be precise. I am still deciding what goes in it, but I am thinking possibly the tiny clothespins. M&M was right. No Domme should be without a bag made of balls. He didn’t know how extra appropriate it was that it’s made from a BULL’S sac, because we haven’t really discussed cuckoldry much. But it sure made MY day.
Speaking of bitches/asses, I went on some dates early in my trip with local gentlemen. One was mentioned a few posts ago. The other one went far better, at least at first. We met for lunch after making plans to do so for two days that I had to cancel due to my dental work. So when I asked the last time I canceled if he wanted to meet the next day, same time, I wasn’t expecting him to accept, but he did. I undertook the hour long trek across town to an area nowhere near a public transit stop, while still managing to keep my hair and makeup intact, texting him to confirm about ten minutes before we were to meet. He responded that he’d be a few hours, we’d have to make it a late lunch. I let him know I was already at the restaurant and am not in the habit of waiting around for tardy dates; and he seemed genuinely to think we had miscommunicated, so I gave him a second chance. We met about an hour later and had a wonderful lunch, and then spent the next 10 (!) hours talking non-stop. It was refreshing, he was definitely more of a gentleman than my previous date, and I was looking forward to another when he asked. So earlier this week he texted before lunch to ask my plans. I told him I”d love to meet in a part of town I had to get to for an errand in the next few hours, and he agreed- we planned to text each other when in the area, shortly. I went, ran my errands, walked around a bit, and finally around 4 pm texted him to say I was going to find some lunch on my own. He said he’d love to try and meet me after that, and I let him know I had evening plans with someone else but I could postpone them a bit to meet up with him, and we planned again for him to text me once he got to the neighborhood where I was. I didn’t count on it, and good thing I didn’t. Around 8 I met my dinner date, M&M. And finally got that text from the other guy around nine. Nine hours after our original plans to meet. I politely declined and gave a subtle brush off response. He didn’t get it, and continued to text throughout the night/morning hours, and all day yesterday, despite my lack of response. After telling him today that every one of the rest of my vacation days were booked with plans from people I had no doubt would keep them, he responded with surprise, as if he thought I was just waiting on call for a date with him.
Guh. Bitches. Can’t live with em…. Can’t cut off their balls and make a nice handbag.
KY His and Hers … WTF?
So I ‘m visiting my vanilla submissive who thinks what I am into is called M&M. He’s a good friend and we’ve known each other over a decade, I sometimes go visit him for a break from real life. I wish that (a) he weren’t married and (b) I had ANY physical attraction to him at all, because he is quite simply THE nicest, most attentive man in the world. In my past discussions about him I’ve shared that he was one of my first escorting clients, and that when I left the business, he mentored and supported me in my new business ventures- and still does. And, in return, I still treat him to my extra special companionship.
My m&m isn’t into many kinks or fetishes. Toys and lingerie are not really his thing. He keeps it short and simple. So when he told me he had a new fun thing to try this time, I was intrigued. He proudly presented me with a package of the new KY Yours and Mine lube, the commercials for which state when the two come together they create a grand experience, and tout increased sensation for the lady.
What they fail to mention is what SORT of increased sensation. Which was basically, just the same as if I had crammed a whole jar of mentholatum up my hoo-ha. It was definitely a sensation. But definitely not a good one. Another reviewer says it’s like sledding down a snowy mountain with your pants off, and I’d have to agree. Fact is, that no matter what mental gymnastics I perform, I can’t make that feel sexy. The active ingredient is mint…what the hell? I couldn’t focus on a thing except the extreme cold tingles emanating from my crotch. And my giggling wasn’t so good for my m&m’s ego.
If you’ve ever put Icy Hot on your body and gotten it into a mucous membrane area (nose, lips, etc), and then tried to use water to wash it off, you understand what I got to experience NEXT when I hopped up and ran to the bathroom for a warm washcloth. It was wrong. So. Wrong.
As for m&m’s experience, he said he didn’t feel anything special on his own, and he did get a bit of the icy cool tingles when we ‘came together’. I’ve read that other men had the effect of a tiny bit of desensitization and warmth. While delaying some men’s orgasm is an admirable goal, it wasn’t what I wanted this time, and it would be nice if the packaging mentioned anything about it. Or about the minty-muff situation. But it didn’t.
So in all, my advice is NO. Just No. If you want the sensation of a York Mint Patty between your legs, go for it. You could take the cheaper route and stick an Altoids up there. But don’t expect to be able to orgasm.
Yay! I have a present on the way!
It’s ridiculous that this means so much to me but it does, and whatever.
Last night I talked with p. for the first time since C.’s bad news changed all my plans, again. Since part of my plan to head northeast included being in his city for an extended amount of time so we could pursue things on a more normal basis, and now I won’t be doing that for a while, it was bad news for him too.
Frankly I expected him to disappear for a while as he is wont to do at such times. But instead we had one of the best conversations ever; he’s learning that he can be my friend as well as my bitch, finally. And to make me smile (and show me he took my threat to take on one of the other two cucks I am talking to now instead of him seriously) he sent me a Realdoe, which I’ve been asking for since Christmas. I’ve decided I don’t looove how I look in my harness, nor do I enjoy the ten minute mood-killer break I have to take to get into it. I’ve been waiting to buy a Feeldoe until they came in a realistic color- just my preference; but I’ve already decided if I like it, I’m getting the black ’stout’ as well. So, for once, p. did good.
It should be no big thing to send me gifts. But my recalcitrant slut is soooo nervous about his conservative image that he didn’t pick up a package from me last year fearing it held evidence of his kinky desires; but all it held was an antique medical book as a gift for finishing his residency. So it was a big step… I never thought I’d be in a place where a dildo represented a large step in my most important relationship…but here we are.
I’ll be visiting him soon, so a toy review will be forthcoming, too. I can’t wait to use it on him.
Toy advice sought…
Ok, floggers.
To begin…WTF is up with the GINORMOUS handles? I know how they’re made and so I understand the bulk, but… can’t something be done? No, I do not want one of those wooden handled operations with several metal loops used to create a swivel. I have visions of my hair getting caught in that as I swing… just…no. I am also short, and these things (the metal parts on most of these pre-made swivel floggers) tend to end up closer to skin with me than they would with other people. Being so short- just over five feet- my hands are also tiny. High schoolers make fun of them kind of tiny. So, these gigantic flogger handles which are often a foot long and two inches or more in diameter…. they hurt me and fly out of my hand at the wrong time and make my carpal tunnel act up. I can’t grip them well enough to use with any real intent. And the handle shaft proportions … well basically all the proportions are all wrong for me.
So there must be someone out there who knows of a custom flogger maker who considers the needs of small but powerful women. And whose floggers cost under $500. I am willing to pay….a reasonable amount.
Second… what to do about a suede flogger that imparts some of it’s dye onto my victim, or whatever else it comes into contact with, with each lash? I spent too much on it to toss. It wasn’t returnable. I’m tired of black marks on my sheets after using it. I’ve tried beating them out by taking it outside and working it over some hard surfaces for about half an hour. No luck, not really even a reduction. Wetting it top wash out the dye will stiffen the suede, and I don’t know much about working with leather. Any suggestions?
Toy bag additions- a pretty good pick-me-up
Yesterday my 5 lb box of toys arrived….Christmas in June. I think the majority of that weight was in the strap on I ordered….holy crap batman! It must weigh at least 3 lbs. I uh…didn’t look at the 2 inch girth when ordering, just the supposed 6 inches of ‘insertable length’- about which I believe I was misled. This will be fun for forced blow jobs, but it would take a real slut to take this in any other orifice. I can’t even wrap my hand around it and didn’t bother giving it a try myself. Well…okay, I did. For about half a second. I really look forward to seeing a sub’s eyes water as he is backed up against a wall and face fucked with this; but I’m looking for a less meaty one for fucking ass. Most men can take much less than they fantasize/brag about. Hopefully my harness will be arriving soon, I’m looking forward to testing out reactions to my new shenis.
There were some cheapo handcuffs…black double locking. One of the keys snapped the first time I tried to unlock them….I haven’t decided whether to return them or order extra keys; but I won’t use these on anyone until I have two working keys in hand- they’re cheap but too sturdy for any of MY tools to cut through in case of emergency. 
And a pair of chained clover clamps… a warm up/trainer for sparky because I knew the tiny clothespins weren’t his favorite and he’d begun involuntarily protecting his nipples from even my bare hands after we had a discussion about nipple rings. I found a package of colored tiny clothespins on my last hobby store trip and couldn’t resist.
A leather blindfold with removable eye patches…sparky and others had, several times, seen my satin sleep mask and wanted it used on him; it’s mine for sleeping (it helps my insomnia) and I don’t plan on putting it on a sweaty slave. An english cock and ball cage that was much nicer than I expected, black with red stitching, good quality leather, and several adjustment options. Some silk rope, a pair of safety scissors…just replacing stuff lost a few years ago. (An aside – for newer readers, I lost about 3k worth of toys and lingerie while traveling as a companion with a married friend. My travel arrangements made it too indiscrete to file complaints with an unnamed airline whose name starts with C about the theft of these items from my luggage.) 
A little 12 strap leather slapper, also nicer than I expected…in purple- I wanted red but it was out of stock and this was under $5. It matches my crop and will be a good warm up tool. A sort of straggly looking ‘mini-whip’ that gives a meaner bite than I thought it would- on the site it looked more flogger like. If it stands up, I think I will like this one quite a bit despite its looks. I may tie knots in the end.
There were some vibrating goodies- a tongue-dinger, a hum-dinger (these are so fun- one use vibes usually under 3 bucks, attatched to a cock or tongue ring, When the vibe is out, you can replace with a small bullet vibe or order more hum-dinger vibes), a hum dinger with ball-bangers, and a cock ring similar to a hum-dinger, but with ’stinger’ anal beads. I believe the anal beads are meant for the woman, but I intend to use them on the wearer. This ring came with a small bullet vibe. All fun for teasing and orgasm denial, and for me. 
Imagine having this put around your cock with the beads up your ass, and then being tied up and told not to cum while the vibe was turned on and you were alternately teased and tortured until it gave out (about 40 minutes) or until you came and had to be punished. Something to look forward to.
So, in addition to my existing toys and tools (tiny crop, whippy cane, the spreader bar sparky made me, my ‘collar-style’ cock collars – some with charms, my short cock collar lead and rhinestone lead, red leather dog collar and lead, leather chastity belt, a couple of anal plugs and various sized vibes, a small collection of locks and caribeeners and clapms and clips, an over-the door hanger set stolen out of my exercise kit, my cigarette holder, and a few other toys…) I think I’ve finally begun to build back up my toy box. I still need new cuffs- but I want a specific, expensive set. A hogtie 4 way snap, a shorter spreader bar, a couple of good floggers and a paddle or two…I could make my wishlist go on forever; but those are really the only things I find lacking now….and I have plenty of time to save up for them. I keep forgetting to get the screws and wingnuts I need for converting my quilt rack into a bondage rack; but they are on the list for my next trip.
Shopping therapy does work at least temporarily, whether shoes or domme supplies…I felt a lot better yesterday unwrapping my goodies and thinking about how I’ll use them. And I couldn’t surpress a hearty laugh every time I thought about that giant strap on cock….here it is in comparison to a soda can.
Note to self: be more attentive to measurements.
Note to subs: hahahahahaha!