The thing about double fisting someone is…you can’/t take a picture of it
Posted on May 30, 2009
Filed Under dating | Leave a Comment
I have had a fun playmate recently; a very young and handsome marine I met on Alt. He’s… well, he’s 22. He lives about an hour away for the next year finishing college before heading off to serve us all. Young, I know; but also fun. Intelligent and for his age, pretty mature. Adorably cute and shy about his kinky needs ; but an otherwise open and happy personality. And a real slut. We ended up playing after several months of talking online and a long sexy date; we made out and had some good but vanilla sex that night, and he stayed the night. I woke up several times with him wrapped tightly around me; very very sweet. If I hadn’t been experiencing thyroid induced night sweats, that is. That was pretty much the only time I felt waaay too old to have him in my bed, fortunately.
In the morning I was ready to play again and woke him after having my coffee by grabbing his hard half asleep cock, pushing him onto his back, and riding him to an orgasm (mine, not his). I had a smoke and then ordered him to present his wrists for binding. Bound his forearms with bondage tape and put him on his knees, face down. I straddled his thighs and spanked him a bit, he seemed non-plussed. I pulled out my mini flogger- a biting 12 strand suede number only about a foot long and alternately caressed and whipped his ass crack with it, talking with him more about his likes and dislikes. It was clear he was not a masochist and we weren’t/aren’t yet at a point where enduring pain for my pleasure is pleasurable for him.
Moving on, I decided to try and see if I could eventually stuff his ass with that giant dildo I got last year, knowing his primary interests were anal play, so I ordered him onto his knees and leant over, whispering in his ear to spread his legs. Bingo…that was his trigger; he arched his back and spread his legs wide like a good little slut. My fingers slid in easily- first two, then three, so I grabbed a vibrator- more average sized- and that too, nearly got swallowed right away- no pull cord, time to look for another toy. I got out the shenis I posted about a while back and my strap on harness. Made him face away while I put it on because- gawd- could you look more ackward and unsexy as when you’re tightening up straps? Anyway.
As I was mounting him he admitted that he’d never been fucked with a strap on, and seemed a bit relunctant. I hadn’t used the shenis in the harness. It wasn’t good. Maybe the straps could have been better adjusted but I think it was the balls. The rubbery dong material made them really bouncy which screwed up the rythm. Neither of us were loving it and when he said his hands were getting tingly I took the opportunity to roll him over and cut the tape off, take off my harness, and mount him for my own orgasm before turning him back over and using the shenis without the harness. Now, this thing is thick and long enough that, for myself, it’s about 1/2 inch too girthy to be comfortable and I could only take in about half of it the couple of times I tried. But this little slut was taking it without even breathing hard. That sort of pissed me off.
I began questioning him about his anal habits and he mentioned fisting himself regularly, so without a word I handed him my rings and watch. The look on his face as he turned to grab them and put them on the side table was pretty priceless. I lubed up and then really could not believe how quickly my whole hand slid in, almost effortlessly. I began working his prostate and smacking his very round ass as he moaned and told me about what a real anal slut he was. He began talking about having always wanted to be double fisted and even though we hadn’t talked about it ahead of time I just could not supress my curiosity. A minute later both of my hands were wrist deep in Marine ass, clenched into fists and twisting back and forth. He reached behind and felt his hole stretched around my slender wrists and began to cum, and appologize for cumming, and moan loudly. That spurred me on and I began pumping his ass with both hands until he began to beg “I can’t take any more”. I stopped… of course I’m still learning his limits, but I really wanted to tie him again and find something large enough to stuff his ass with that I could then use my hands elsewhere. We laid in bed and I stroked his hair while he recovered. As he cleaned up in the bathroom I found myself wishing I had a photo of him reaching around to feel his asshole stretched around my two wrists and trying to figure out how I could work that out next time.
He needed to head home rather quickly and didn’t rmessage me again for over a week. I chalked it up to a number of things and wasn’t heartbroken; but had wanted to talk with him about the experience away from the moment; I think that’s important especially with new partners and any time you cross an uncharted boundary. He was back in touch this week explaining that he’s never entered a relationship that involved BDSM from the start and needed some time to process his feelings; which I can understand and respect. I was/am impressed with his ability to be in touch with his emotions and share them. And have been surprised at his continued interest. He sends me sweet text messages throughout the day and I plan to see him again soon. I don’t know where I’d like it to lead; for now it is simply nice to have a fun playmate who is also making an effort to become a real friend.
Off to explore the self timer features of my camera…
Allrighty then.
Posted on May 30, 2009
Filed Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Ok. So I’ve been away. So what.
As with everyone, the economy has me sucking wind. My big business venture is failing quickly. I suppose now that it’s been a while I can share that I purchased a well established vintage clothing store last year. I’ve loved it; vintage was already a personal passion before the store…my own home was already filled with 1930’s furnishings and atomic era bric-a-brac. I’ve learned a lot about myself in the process, too. I’m a great boss. I am not a great accountant or secretary. And I don’t like people that much; but love entertaining…in other words I like people only when I can create and control the environment we interact in, and they’re appreciating what I do. I am willing to work very hard for very little tangible reward; but not for very little actual progress or personal acheivement. I thrive on earned adoration. I don’t like having to answer to others regarding my own choices. And I can date and estimate the worth of far more vintage items than I ever imagined with really amazing accuracy. And, that’s where I’ve been. Not much time for kink, although it’s managed to find me anyway.
Believe it or not the store has offered many opportunities to enjoy ‘found Femdom’- of the unintended and of the not so unintended sort. Apparently many cross dressing men love vintage lingerie and clothing. And found me quite happy to tease/encourage them into dresses and play barbie with them. The transgender ladies also made my acquaintance fairly quickly, which has made for many fabulous afternoons. More than once while I was running around the store on a long day in bare feet and stopping to put my shoes back on, a male customer has dropped to his knees without prompting and put it on for me. There’s a very submissive bra (and probably panty) wearing man who comes in and slinks around for hours trying to work up the nerve to compliment me on my dress and occasionally “accidentally” shows his bra under his undershirt while trying on shirts without using a dressing room. And I have a pretty, virginal young gay boy who has decided he has his first girl crush on me, and hangs out at the store almost daily, bringing me homemade lemon bars and hand picked vintage for the store and myself.
Unfortunately I am likely going to have to close the doors, and soon. I’m okay with it, as much as I can be. Obviously I would rather not close but I know I’ve done everything possible, save have more money to put into it. I can check it off of my list and move forward without regret, I suppose that’s all one can ask for.
The kid is graduating in less than a week. I would be more freaked out if I had the time and energy to be. She’s goofed off this last semester…the typical too smart kid who isn’t being challenged syndrome…which nearly kept her from graduating. So college plans are still up in the air. It’s strange. We’re still close- always have been. And for a long time it looked like she might never develop the need to separate herself from me, which was worrisome. But now, she’s ready. And cripes it hurts! I know it’s supposed to. And I’m ready too. But it’s an odd dynamic to live with; tense and bittersweet. Niether of us want to hurt the other’s feelings in saying that it’s time for her to go; her plans aren’t clear enough yet for her to articulate them and I can’t question or push about them without invoking insecurity in her. And my plans for where I would be, financially and otherwise, at this time in her life, are far different from what we both expected, even 9 months ago. So being at home is a lot of walking on eggshells. Savoring last memories. Trying to impart those last important lessons. And most of all trying to stand back and let her do her thing without trying to control the outcome. I think that’s hard for any parent. For someone with a controlling nature and not much going according to plan, it’s just plain torture.
So here I find myself again; facing a time to remake myself, part crisis, part life cycle. I’m fortunate to know how to do this and still keep who I am whole. And I have a plan; actually a few- gotta have back ups. No specifics I can reveal right away, but know that when I do it will be very juicy. In general, I can say that I am happy to see the time in my life when I can truly focus on myself arriving, and that my thoughts and plans are focused on growing as a dominant and on focusing on myself.
I think it’s best to end this post as just a general update. I have other things to post about, and rather than make one very long post about too many subjects, I’ll just post each of them separately. I *am* going to be blogging regularly again. I’ve missed and needed it, and it won’t take long to become a habit again.
Hi.
Posted on December 7, 2008
Filed Under Uncategorized | 5 Comments
Holy fuckballs batmen.
It’s been a crazy few months and boy life has changed. I thought about just letting this domain expire and go away, so much has happened and changed and gone unblogged…but, I value my writing experience and personal explorations here. I’ve missed them and my few frequenters. I am finally getting somewhere near ’settling in’ to my new life, and working fewer than 18 hours a day, which I was doing for quite a while; so there’s a chance I will actually revive this blog.
So, updates.
I mentioned at the end of my last post the possibility of purchasing a local business. It did happen, quickly, and frankly, that’s where *almost* every ounce of energy I have has gone since August. I wish I could tell you all more about it because, well, it’s just fucking perfect and I have all manner of opportunities for kinky insights. But. It is a fairly well known and unique retail establishment that is a part of Austin’s local ‘keep it weird’ culture and I’ve already had a few experiences where I felt some reader of this blog had come in to feel out if the new owner was me. Okay, I will have to divulge this much because I have been waiting to say this…
Hey Bitchy, I get to dress men for a living! And they totally let me. I even have gotten to put a few in dresses. Hot.
So, there’s that. Super, super, unbelievably busy. I knew I would be, but more than I thought. With the economy diving deep for ugly waters immediately after reworking the store and having a decent ‘re-opening’ month, things have been a bit stressful, but the business is well positioned to make it through tough times in more than one way. But it’s keeping me busier than I ever imagined. I’m exhausted. Related to that, sparky, at the tattler’s wedding, also asked if I’d like a silent partner/capitol for the business. That has ended up to be a complex situation. Not long after becoming partners, we both decided the benefits part of our friendship was complicating it even more, so that stopped. Complicated does not, in this case, translate to bad, by the way. It’s been, all things considered, a good partnership and I appreciate the help he’s been. But, blogging about that, too, is just not a good idea; since sparky is an occasional reader and I wouldn’t want to complicate things any further.
Then, there’s C, my kiddo. She turned 18 recently. Taking SATs and writing entrance essays. We got tatoos together for her birthday. Not matching, but similar, and related to something special between us. It was an interesting experience, especially each of us knowing the other’s kink. She is a masochist and knows I am dominant. I asked her if it was a good pain and she said it was. For me, not so much, and she knew it, which she said made it extra special. She insisted on going first, she said she knew I’d do it no matter what she did about the pain but was afraid I’d try and be too brave for her if I went first, and show no pain. Too sweet. The tattoo was her idea originally, she asked only for it for her birthday. I knew she’d do it no matter what now that she was old enough, she’s told me over the last few years that she plans for several as well as some piercings. Then she told me she was getting her first one dedicated to me, and after some thought, I decided to join her. It sucked, painful in a way that I both did and did not expect. But I love it. It’s nothing small, not huge, hideable, in a spot that shouldn’t wrinkle or sag too badly, and unique; it represents both she and I. Same with hers. It is wonderful to share something so personal and lasting with her in these days when that is becoming more and more rare. She’s shooting through her senior year with lightning speed and I’m just not ready, in so many ways. And I AM ready, in so many ways. I am really looking forward to adult kink time in my own home. Really. Really.
I also turned 34 some time since my last post; rather uneventfully and without much fanfare, but that was fine. I was otherwise occupied as I got the keys to my new business on that day. What else. Not much kink to speak of.
Well, that is not true. I mean it is. I haven’t had my hands on a soul in months. But it’s not. For the entire last 5 months p. has been passionate, seeking me out, opening up, being consistent, and finally telling me he loved me -on his own, without prompting and without hesitation. Begging me for months to come and take him, giving me his address and making general plans and promises. And I did it. Flew across the country with a bag full of kink, several scenarios planned and a lot of hope in what we’ve each been unable to deny for nearly two years. Took a cab to his condo from my hotel once I knew he was home with plans to pick up where we left off last year in Dallas. Only, it didn’t work out that way at all. I left without even seeing him and not much more than some flimsy text messages. Of course there’s much more to it, and there was no concrete ending. And I’ll write about it eventually. I’d planned to tonight. But it was just a few weeks ago and thinking about standing there … well, just thing it about it still stings, worse than the tattoo, which came after. And of course, I knew there was that chance. But I had to take it. And now my need … NEED… to hurt him is nearly unspeakable and no matter what I do, it makes me look … and feel … yeah.
So on the one hand, things are good. Hard, and busy, but very good. I’m doing something I’ve always wanted to do and despite the economy making it a rough go, I’m really, REALLY enjoying it. On the other hand, things are bad. Heartbreaking and disillusioning and dark and hollow and very, very lonely. But none of that is new. At least it is a fun journey into places I never ever wanted to know my mind could go. Sure, I’ll blog about that soon too.
Well, leave it to me to end things on that note. It wasn’t my plan. But there’s your update. Thanks mo, and others, for checking in on me. I’ll be around more often. Perhaps with new maid interviews soon, because on top of the fact that my house has been neglected, someone has to get beaten, and soon.
And I am no longer the tattler’s boss…
Posted on August 12, 2008
Filed Under Uncategorized | 3 Comments
So, the wedding was last weekend. The tattler brother’s wedding with the family I hadn’t seen in a decade and all the anticipated drama. Surprisingly the drama was kept to a very discrete minimum. The groom (my brother) came to me at the end of the night, having ensured that the second keg of the night was entirely floated, to say that it was the best wedding he’d ever been to. And I told him minutes before the ceremony that I was taking my last moments as his boss to let him know that if he messed up with his new boss he’d be in big trouble with me. He asked, eyes averted and half joking, when he got to be his own boss, I told him he had a full five minutes there in the church parking lot with a grin.
There *was* family drama, but not with my stepmother, instead my father. I think seeing one of us marry really put him over the edge. Poor thing. He hasn’t had much success, five weddings under his belt…and he projects his fears on us. I guess all parents do. I will do my best not to do so to his degree.
The most dramatic thing was that I “lost” my keys as I was leaving the rehearsal dinner, downtown. Walked around the corner from the venue to my car, in the opposite direction of my family, alone, in the dark. Realized halfway around the block they were absolutely not in my purse. I carry them on a gigantic jailer key ring, for this very reason. Rushed back to the restaurant to find ALL of my family gone. After a very adorable waiter assisted me in digging through party remnants and hoofing around the block, I had to admit defeat and got a ride home, picked up a key from a friend with whom I’d deposited a copy. That meant I was without car the day of the wedding, kind of a problem.
So, I called sparky. I had let him take me to lunch twice more in the last few weeks before making him tell me why he was doing that, although I already knew. He was interested in ex-sex, FWKB (kinky benefits). It was fun to make him tell me because, after all, it did take three lunches over four weeks. He blushed and stammered and squirmed and grimmaced and said he didn’t want me to be offended about twenty times; and I told him I’d think about it. So, I figured that he might be willing to squire me around town to the wedding and reception. When he arrived I was going over the things I needed to bring in my purse, and found my keys inside a small zippered compartment of my wallet, in a place that looks way too small for the jailer key ring to fit, so I never looked.
We had a great time, at least it seemed so. I was very busy flitting from family member to bridesmaid to groom, and didn’t get much of an opportunity to spend time with sparky; but he dutifully held my purse, got my drinks, and endured my father’s stories while I left him to say hello to a hundred people I hadn’t seen in years.
I think the pool of maids has dwindled back down to none. The mimbo, as fun as it would be to put his muscle-man body into a french maid uniform and order around, really isn’t suited. His job will keep him from being able to attend to his duties at a convenient time of day for me and will limit how much use I can make of him, for at least six months. And, he seems very very interested in a more romantic, and friendly involvement. That’s just not on my list right now; my plate is pretty full, and I truly want a *maid*, not a lover, personal sub, slave, or another kinky friend with benefits.
Another dramatic turn of events has taken place….what’s new, right? Well, actually, this time it’s GOOD drama. I can’t reveal too many details because I don’t want to out myself locally; but I have the opportunity to purchase a local business that is, frankly, a childhood dream. It fell in my lap almost literally, just by chance. I wasn’t looking for it, certainly; and while that’s great, it also means I have TONS of work to do…most people puchasing a business are prepared to do so before they find the business to purchase, research wise and whatnot. So, I am scrambling to make sure I can take advantage of the opportunity. If it happens, it would be the realization of a personal goal that pre-dates my teenage pregnancy. I don’t know if it’s entirely obvious that I pretty much have had no expectation that any of those would ever come to pass for me. So, it’s a little surreal. Very, very exciting. I haven’t smiled so much in years….in fact I’ve actually done quite a bit of unfortunate squealing over it, just can’t help it. But, it’s not final yet, and when it is, there is going to be much, MUCH work to do. And, employees. If I’m lucky, I’ll find some hot young subby sales clerk, and there will be tales to regale you all with. The blog will probably suffer for a while…but that’s a small price to acheive a childhood dream. And, much as love my readers, you guys don’t pay very well.
So if I’m absent for a while, that’s where I am. Email me and I’ll reply. When something kink happens, I’ll post. Speaking of that, I did bring sparky home after the wedding. We were drunk and I’d hidden most of my toys in anticipation of a parental visit, but I had my tape out by the bed. While I facesat him I wrapped his balls at the base and then around each ball, leaving a tail of extra tape hanging, and then continued all the way up the shaft of his penis with the black electrical tape until I got to the head, which I left exposed. It was very hot looking and I wish I’d taken pictures, but I was otherwise occupied. I used the hanging tape to pull on his balls while he tongued me, occasionally scratching and biting through and around the tape wrappings, while force fingering his hole to muffled yelling. I made him enter me fully taped, and while it was a real turn on to know he was limited to just feeling the essence of being inside of me without feeling his own skin against mine, the tape edges were palpable and strange and after not long we both decided to ditch it. I didn’t wait for him to adjust to remove it, having read some great descriptions of a similar ‘helicopter’ treatment somewhere, I had planned for this and grabbed the top end of the tape and gave it a good quick tug, unraveling the entire length of it very quickly and causing his penis to do a small helicopter type spin….which clearly scared the crap out of sparky. And turned me on. He came like a teenager, and I made him withdraw and deposit his sperm on my clit to be licked up. Which was done to my satisfaction, so I figure I’ll let sparky come over to test out my new toys soon.
Wish me luck with the business opportunity, would you? Just a little thought, or prayer to whatever deity you worship, or a crossed finger, some salt over the shoulder? Can’t hurt, and I’d do it for you.
I have grape soda.
Posted on July 24, 2008
Filed Under Uncategorized | 1 Comment
I had an enlightening conversation with p. the other night. Yes. I know. I said I was done.
But, well. I’m not. And neither is he.
It’s late..very late; I’ve been working like a dog lately. So I won’t try and get into the whole thing because at this point I’ve been so silent on my dealings with p. for so long that it needs a full recap. And I’ve been trying for an hour but just keep rambling and I’m trying to stop doing that.
Basically it’s still been a lot of heavy passion and build up, and then him backing out at the last minute. Until he moved about 1500 miles away a few weeks ago and backed out on our last chance AND used the phrase I gave him to totally safe-word out of the relationship. And he missed out on a three day scene I’ve been planning for months.
I thought that this behavior had to do with p.’s feelings about ME. Needless to say, that’s been a real downer. Over and over again.
Ends up it is feelings about accepting his submission that he is struggling with. Not misgivings about me. It would have helped so much if I’d known that …oh… a year ago. Not just because it would have helped me, but because I could have been helping him.
Each of us has been complacent. It’s become a big mess … he craps out, I withhold ..and since all I have left to control with is contact with me, that’s what gets withheld. And we both are so pent up for each other that when we do talk, it’s impossible. There is nothing and everything to say. I have a lot of work to do with him and I haven’t done any of it.
But this conversation was different; he was open in a way he hasn’t been in months. He is sorry. It doesn’t mean he won’t be punished, eventually, when I get my hands on him. But I do understand it better. He is feeling lost and ungrounded. And he was very earnest in expressing his regret. This was all a big step to share, for p. - and he confirmed all the feelings I’ve had about the feelings we share for each other, as crazy as they are for the situation.
So - for now that is it I think. I have grape soda again. Like I said the whole situation needs a big ol recap, and I will try and get to that this week. And yes, I will explain about the grape soda. Maybe.
Oh, the maids. I’m meeting the gambler later. Eager, well, I nixed him. Annoying. And the mimbo and I have an interview scheduled this weekend. So expect a report.